day-51

Last night, Tata, Facu, and I had dinner at Rajawali's Kedai. We planned to just eat and go back home, but I knew that was impossible because we would definitely end up chatting. Somehow, our conversation that night drifted to our school days. Then, suddenly, I remembered my embarrassing experience in high school.

When I said that high school was a dark time for me, I wasn't lying. Let me tell you. And it's so ridiculous that make me wanna throw up.

In high school, I was a loner. I had trouble socializing and making friends with new people. I considered everyone to be strangers and disgusting, but I actually needed friends. By the third week of the year, when people were already starting to study and do assignments, I was still trying to figure out my identity and the ease of this school.

If I said I was a little ‘mentally disturbed’ in high school phase, I wouldn't be lying. There was a time when I went to school wearing a bandage over my eye, wrapping my hand in cloth, and making fake blood out of ink and condensed milk just to get attention from people. I don't want to go into details, but my sister remembers it too.

Now we laugh, but when I remember that episode of my life, I can only smile bitterly and feel ashamed of myself. Why did I do that? It's ridiculous. Did people know that I was just looking for attention? Did they know that I was pretending? Did anyone have a stupid train of thought like me?

Then we agreed that I was probably possessed by a demon or in a concerning state at that time.

Thank God I'm (slightly) normal now and not doing crazy shit again.