day-39

I am lucky enough to be able to easily access the internet these days. I use my home Wi-Fi to surf the internet, entertainment, news, and the latest trends in the touch of a finger. Imagine if I had to go to an internet café in 2015 to get all that. 

My family wasn't the kind of people who needed the internet. We were just a simple family who followed the flow of society and didn't care about life outside of that. For my parents, social life and direct human interaction were the most important things. They hated it when they saw me listening to music on my MP3 player, watching K-pop videos on my laptop, or even spending time reading novels. They thought it was a waste of time and useless. At least that's what I thought.

I was forced to socialize with the people around my age on my neighborhood. I remember the first time I communicated with them was when I had to help wash the dirty dishes and glasses after pengajian every Sunday. Technically, my mom and dad threatened, "If you don't hang out with people now, no one will come to your funeral when you die."

Again, I hated ultimatums. So, I did it all unwillingly. There was a sense of unease and awkwardness creeping into my soul. I didn't want to do this. They were force me! Once was enough, and I never did it again. If there was a kumpul-kumpul in front of my house (masjid), I would deliberately go with my bicycle to somewhere else, just to get away from home and not have to listen to my parents' nags.

Thanks God, now I can do whatever I want. I don't have to hang out with people and follow their rules.

So, the internet cafe was the perfect place for me to escape. Even when I skipped class, all I did was go to the internet cafe and spend hours there doing what I loved: writing. I often wrote when I was restless, and when I look back at my active and random writings, it was probably when I was at the internet cafe.

They never understood their child's hobbies. When I asked my mother what is my favorite thing to do, she answered hesitantly. I don't remember the exact answer, but it was definitely wrong. Not quite right.

They thought that everything you do in this world should earn money. If it was just a waste of time, then it was better to leave it. It wasn't just me who experienced this, but my brother and sister as well. In the beginning, if they did something that was considered fun and it didn't make money after a while, my mother would comment and it would be better to quit. My mother didn't understand that everyone needs activities to relieve stress. She acted like she never got stressed. If she did, her solution was always to pray to God.

I'm fed up with that advice. Once again, she gave an answer without further explanation. But I am a person who needs everything to be done with a reason. If you forbid me from doing something, you should provide a logical answer to answer my next question.

I have already planned my long weekend with sleeping, cleaning the house, and also making a real vision board. I have been postponing that work for weeks, even before entering 2024.

I won't feel lonely even though all of my friends are going back to their home. I am happy to be told to stay at home for days, as proven during the Covid-19 lockdown, I didn't feel stressed at all. Lockdown was heaven on earth. No need to go to work and enjoy every day by relaxing. But that's over and the world is back to normal, gratefully.

Have a good time!

Bye!