day-38

Have I ever told you about my work anxiety? What made me uncomfortable and turned me into a less-than-ideal employee, often late and unmotivated? Thankfully, after tracing back and finding the root of the problem, I managed to overcome it. I finally moved and found a much better atmosphere.

It's true that I basically needed a fresh start. When I think back about how people were treated there, especially the HR staff who acted however they wanted, I get angry and upset all over again. Even though it happened a long time ago. Those annoying people have now moved on and been replaced by new people.

But I will carry this grudge to my grave. I will remember this feeling of hatred until I am old. Those people will never get a good impression from me again. They are the same and always will be.

I'm not surprised if any of my friends are their favorites. They are people pleasers, sycophants, and sweet on the outside. I can't be like that. I can't pretend to be sweet in front of you, willing to spend my time and energy catering to those ridiculous requests. I am who I am, and I can't be controlled or put on a leash.

I don't know. She once said, "If you don't like working here, you might as well do what you're passionate about." Another subtle sentence that indirectly tells me to quit this job rather than be considered incompetent.

They didn't care about my arguments. They didn't care about the mental illness symptoms I was experiencing. Oh, of course they wouldn't care, just wait until they get the news "An employee commits suicide due to work pressure." Only then will they move and stand at the forefront as people who feel responsible. If they are willing to take responsibility.

And I think that episode might happen again in this office, and I'm not going to let that happen. I will be myself with my principles. I will obey the rules, and I will reject the unreasonable attitudes that may be given unwritten in this place. I will fight back. I will do what I think is right.

Again, as long as it doesn't hurt others.

Aren't you tired of being people pleasers? Is that the only way you achieve your career goals? Well, I want to have a career with elegance. I want to achieve my goals my own way. Besides, I'm not a career-oriented person. As long as the job is halal, fits the description, and doesn't hurt myself, I'll take it.

Walking leisurely on the grass is a pleasant thing.

Bye.