day-31

I'm currently in a phase where I feel like snapping at people while I'm at work. Even though I consider myself a patient person, there are moments when things just out of control and I might explode at any time. This is especially true when dealing with individuals who are just impossible to comprehend. Working at the front desk means I have to face people needing assistance for hours on end, so I've got to keep my emotions in check to stay composed and avoid losing my temper.

It's particularly challenging when I come across someone who's as stubborn as a rock and seemingly impervious to explanations. No matter how patient I try to be, they just keep asking questions without grasping what I'm trying to convey. There are times when I wish I could let out my frustration, maybe even jab a pen at them and say, "Feel that, mutherfucker!"

But of course, I can't do that. I would end up in jail (or, at the very least, become the latest internet sensation). My dignity needs to be preserved, even though it's tough as nails to do so. I don't know, maybe it's just one of those days. Perhaps it's the time of my period, and my emotions and thoughts are running wild. At least, I can still manage to work and maintain some livelihood of my life.

Even as I'm writing this, my thoughts are a bit jumbled, and I can't seem to find the right words. Long story short, I'm stressed out and desperately in need of a solid 12-hour sleep.

Bye!

day-29

Do you know that in life we need to have priorities? In my opinion, people who don't have priorities in their lives, they are messed up. Whether it's in work, socializing, doing household chores, having a family, and so on, we need what's called priorities. It can be an object or a subject.

The question is, have you ever been a priority in someone's life? 

I always do things with a priority scale. How important is that thing? Or if both are equally important, which one comes first? From these two things, I can determine priorities in my life.

When I know that I am made a priority by someone else, I will greatly appreciate it. I will try my best not to mess up and disappoint that person. But if I already know that I am not a priority, then I will also don’t give a fucek. I'm leaving. It's as simple as that.

day-26

Now I will tell you about the pros and cons of having a female boss. I have felt being under the power of a woman who feels superior to others. Or someone who just wants to save herself.

Woman support woman is bullshit.

At first I was happy because when I had a female boss, I would be more free to express my thoughts and opinions. Rather than if I had to communicate with a man, of course. But in reality, this boss is more complicated and full of drama. I don't distinguish or compare between women and men, okay. In my opinion, everyone is the same in terms of work, if they are competent. Whether man or woman, if they are good at work, you are good.

Turns out in this office I met someone like that again. Thanks God she is not my direct superior. She is the only female boss among all the men in this office. Popular? I don't think so. She is the type of person who will talk about you behind your back. Anyway, she is the bestie of my boss who likes to gossip while eating kwaci.

One day when she was in a bad mood, she would complain and act as if she hated durian. We bought durian ice cream in the room and didn't invite her. She acted as if she hated the smell of durian and wanted to puke, but we found out that she was just upset because she wasn't invited to buy durian ice cream.

One day she invited me to talk in the bathroom. We had never talked before, and I wasn't interested. She said and advised me, but her choice of words seemed threatening. I was annoyed, of course. Why did she invite me to talk about something so unimportant? Did she want to spread hatred? Since then I have felt disturbed.

After that day, she never smiled, greeted, or chatted with me again. Whatever.

I don't know how she developed herself as a boss and a woman. But clearly she doesn't look like a cool and classy woman. Doesn't look like a career woman who deserves respect. Sorry to say. I just hate her.

I can switch from being nice to number one hater in seconds just because that person messing with my life. Of course, her behavior in the bathroom bothered me. Maybe for her it was just advice and chit-chat, but at least if you speak, look me in the eye!

Woah.

Be a normal. You don't have to be a people pleaser, but at least don't bother others. Freak.

day-25

One of the most comfortable feelings is when I crawl into bed with freshly-laundered sheets. The clean, crisp smell is so refreshing, and I feel so cozy and secure. Even though I don't mind the slightly musty smell of sheets that have been used for a few days, I still try to change them at least once a week.

A good night's sleep is essential for me, and I love dreaming. I don't have to have a dream that's particularly meaningful or exciting, I just enjoy the experience of dreaming. I often write down my dreams in a journal or notes on my phone.

Last night I dreamed of joining a family I didn't know. I was like being adopted and going on a vacation abroad. I was very excited and happy because I could go abroad during the summer. The plane was supposed to leave at 12:45, but at 9:00 am, we were still playing on the beach.

At first I was worried and told my foster mother if it was possible to get ready in a matter of hours while the suitcase and clothes to be brought were not packed at all. But she looked relaxed and then I was told to join the people swimming at the beach.

Everyone was wearing bikinis or swimsuits, but I wasn't prepared and then decided to wear a sports bra and panties. Although I was embarrassed, I finally plunged in and felt the saltiness of the sea water. There were not only me, but also several foster children swimming, playing in the water, or just sunbathing.

Then I met two women. They looked drunk and a little tipsy. Maybe they were drunk. There was eyeliner smudged under their eyes. They laughed and told jokes that made me laugh too. Then one of them said to be prepared because a big wave was coming soon.

Sure enough, a few moments later the long-awaited big wave came. We were rolled by the waves but we still laughed. Suddenly I felt a pain in my right hand. I thought it might be because there were many shells and coral in the sand on the beach, so that made me hurt. When I looked at the palm of my hand, there was a wire sticking out about 10 cm deep. The wire went into the upper layer of the skin and created a cavity. I grinned and tried not to cry even though it hurt.

After that I woke up because my phone alarm went off. Dang! I didn't get to go on summer vacation!

Dreams like that are the ones I like. Even sometimes I realize if I'm dreaming and enjoy all the flow of it with pleasure.

I have one strange habit. I will dream of taking an exam or going back to high school if tomorrow I will face something big. For example, when I have to be a presenter or something that requires my abilities, more precisely something that makes me nervous and frustrated. And I hate that.

Just imagining going back to school makes me sick. Sometimes I want to go back to school but not with all the exams, lessons, and other academic activities. I like school only because of my friends and the environment. Other than that, I will definitely left the school.

day-24

Have you ever heard the saying, "Less friend, less problem"? It seems that it applies to everything in the world. The less you have, the less problems you have to face. For example, if I only have a little money, then my desire to buy things is not as much as if I am wealthy.

And being in this place with many people and many jobs also creates many problems. I have been assigned to the Seksi Pelayanan twice. First in my old office for two years, and in my new office for three months (although it feels like half a year).

day-23

In all my years at the front desk, never have I made a mistake like lashing out at a client. Slapping them? Throwing a pen? Not even raising my voice is something I do lightly. I've mastered the art of swallowing my pride and keeping my cool, especially on bad days. And let me tell you, being a woman can mean days where frustration simmers just below the surface, ready to boil over for no reason at all.

But today, I witnessed something else entirely. This coworker, no VIP by any stretch, had one simple task: greet the client and figure out why they were here. Instead, she raised her voice, berating the client and drawing everyone's attention (including, of course, her own). "Keep your family drama at home," the client hissed back, rightfully incensed.

We, as customer service reps, can't control how others feel. Our job is to do our best, be professional, and avoid conflict. This woman, however, seems utterly untrained in that art. She lacks any semblance of empathy, not just for customers but even for her colleagues. Does seniority grant her the right to be so insensitive?

She disappeared shortly after the incident, hiding in the back until the afternoon. Then, as if nothing happened, she returned, asking if the client was still there. Honestly, I couldn't care less. Just do your job and stop making excuses. Your personal baggage is your own damn problem.

Later, while cleaning, she launched into a dramatic retelling of the whole fiasco, how she "almost lost it" on the client. "They couldn't hear me," she whined, "so when I raised my voice, they thought I was mad!"

Please. Spare me the self-serving sob story. It's a pathetic attempt to deflect blame and avoid the fallout of your own unprofessional behavior. Face it, you simply lack the basic skills to deal with people. Own up to it and stop digging yourself deeper.

Why I love Sturniolo Triplets?

This is my personal take on this topic. I'm not trying to represent anyone else's views, and I don't want to offend anyone. Love you all. 💜💙

***

I've been binge-watching YouTube channels for days on end, waiting for new videos to drop like a pizza fiend waiting for the next slice. Lately, I've been all about the Sturniolo Triplets.

Each of them feels like a mini-me, even though they're young enough to be my brothers. But age is just a number when it comes to their comedic talent. They keep me laughing and living 😊.

DREAM: Trapped with Lucy: A Hunt for Freedom in a Castle of Lies

I had a pretty lively dream last night, and that's why I woke up late. Basically, when I have a good shit, I must be oversleep.

I dreamed of going on an adventure with Lucy from The Hunger Games. We were trapped in a castle, or more precisely, in a warehouse. We couldn't go anywhere because we were surrounded by soldiers and generals who wanted to attack us. Lucy held up her sword and tried to find a way out. I was also panicking and trying to barricade the door with tables or anything else in the room.

*gambar hanya ilustrasi, Lucy Gray dari pinteres*

Actually, behind us there was a wall leading to the forest or outside, but it was made of concrete and covered with wood. Suddenly, I heard a voice. A very faint but clear voice. I followed the voice and found a young boy whose body was bent and "planted" in the wall.

"I can get you out of here, but you have to help me too," he said.

Lucy and I immediately helped the boy out of the wall without thinking twice. His body was disoriented from being bent for so long, and I had to carry him. "Hit that part of the wall and you'll find a way out," he said.

Sure enough! The part of the wall he pointed to was indeed very soft and easy to break through. Lucy and I struggled to crawl out of there, of course I pulled the boy out and took him with us.

After a while, the boy's body had returned to normal and he could walk normally. Then he told us who he was and who his family and parents were. He was the son of one of the generals who were chasing us. "It's guaranteed that they will be exiled because they failed to catch you."

"How are they now?"

The boy took us to a hut or part of the castle that was not well-maintained, where the maids and servants rested. "They live here now, and their bodies are also strange because they eat black honey."

I peeked inside and found a row of people sleeping soundly. There was a foul smell in the air. He said it was the aroma of poisonous black honey. They had to eat it as punishment for failing to get us.

The boy's father woke up in surprise and gulped down the black honey greedily. Maybe because there was no other food that could satisfy his hunger, so the choice was two: eat black honey or starve to death.

I returned to where Lucy was and told her what I had seen. Then we prepared to continue our journey with the boy.

-the end-