day-29

Do you know that in life we need to have priorities? In my opinion, people who don't have priorities in their lives, they are messed up. Whether it's in work, socializing, doing household chores, having a family, and so on, we need what's called priorities. It can be an object or a subject.

The question is, have you ever been a priority in someone's life? 

I always do things with a priority scale. How important is that thing? Or if both are equally important, which one comes first? From these two things, I can determine priorities in my life.

When I know that I am made a priority by someone else, I will greatly appreciate it. I will try my best not to mess up and disappoint that person. But if I already know that I am not a priority, then I will also don’t give a fucek. I'm leaving. It's as simple as that.

However, some people never know how to be grateful and appreciate others. They make decisions as they please, and when chaos happens, they blame others. I once heard she say, "I have no reason to end a friendship with someone as long as that person is still useful and beneficial to me." Well, that's a good but also annoying thought. Now I know why she wanted to be friends with me, because I still have benefits for her. If I am no longer useful to her, I will be discarded.

I don't care. 

Because I make friends not for such things. I befriend someone because I feel comfortable and happy talking, hanging out, and sharing stories with them. It's not solely about gaining benefits from the friendship. Friends with benefits? Nah. Friends with love. Damn.

When I build social connections with others, my brain instantly decides whether this relationship is just a colleague, a friend, or a bestie. I don't like sharing my stories or thoughts with just anyone – you could say I'm very selective and not easygoing. CUPU. But I love my cupu-ness.

I build thick and sturdy walls when it comes to friendships. Once I feel like I've overshared, I won't do it again. Well, sometimes I need a place to spill my thoughts spontaneously and overshare. Not everyone can enter that fortress, and be grateful if you're one of the few allowed through the gates of my resilient fortress.

My advice when you no longer a priority for someone: please back off. There's no point in holding onto something unworthy. It's painful. It's sad. You're sad. Don't be the one causing sadness; you're more valuable.

I say this because I've been in that position before. Hurt and suffering while being kind, only to have others mistreat me. It's painful, and I don't want it to happen again.

Especially for the selfish people out there who love creating drama in life, please, get a life. The world doesn't revolve just around you. If you feel uncomfortable and still bear that resentment, please face it yourself. Don't force others to be a shield for your foolish behavior. Don't drag others into the mistakes you've made. Fuck yourself. 

Peace. 

Love you.