Unlucky bastard #yapping

I have honestly grown so tired of working. Besides everything happening in my personal life, I also find my workplace increasingly frustrating. I do not want to immediately label it “toxic,” because perhaps I am the problem. Maybe I have simply lost my motivation.  

These days, I merely show up for work and go home. There is no real sense of purpose left in it. I am simply fulfilling my obligations because I am being paid to do so. Had I been working for a private company, I probably would have received my first written warning by now.  

Today, I felt utterly exhausted. I arrived early in the morning and had to be immediately ready for front-desk duty at the MPP (mal pelayanan publik). Then, in the afternoon, I also had to cover the TPT service desk. With a schedule like that, I have to figure out for myself when to return to the office, take a break, solat, and attend to everything else.  

When I think about it, working as a frontliner is genuinely draining. There is barely any room to pause, breathe, or manage myself at my own pace. So, I try to arrange things in whatever way keeps me from losing my mind.  

But this unlucky bastard always seems determined to find fault with other people.  

I genuinely wanted to respond because I felt offended by what he wrote in the group chat. But my friend told me, “Just let it go. The moment you engage with him, you lose.”  

I know I was wrong for falling asleep. But he is still incredibly irritating.  

I feel like taking extended leave, stepping away from everything, and finally giving myself a moment to breathe.