mungkin ini karma

I have never felt so dumb and ridiculous when I met with this person. I used to be indifferent and unconcerned about others' feelings, and now I feel so 'discarded' as a human being. 

Is this karma? 

day-70

My friend called me An evil. And I admit that I was indeed born and formed to be evil. Although I try my best to show the good side of me and not violate the norms, if I follow my heart that always wants to do evil. I am evil and I admit it.

day-65

oh boy, it's been a while since I shared a story about my workplace drama. I was just waiting for my boss to stir up trouble again, and oh God, did the universe answer my prayers swiftly. 😑

I absolutely hate receiving instructions in a piecemeal fashion. It's so disorganized and inefficient, leading to lengthy delays and multiple rounds of revisions. If he would just give clear, complete, and sequential instructions, the revision process wouldn't have to be so tedious. It could be done in just one or two rounds, and the task would be completed.

But this crazy person, I don't even know if he's stupid or what, always comes out of nowhere with new tasks or assignments. He skips the pleasantries and dives straight into the topic or second stage without explaining the first. I have to stop and figure out what he's actually trying to say. Does he think I can read his minds?

When I told my friend about it, she said that's just how he behave. 🤮

Seriously? Every task has to be like this? Has he never received leadership training or learned how to communicate with his subordinates? Does he not know how to give instructions?

I'm so exhausted.

Ilustrasi bagaimana aku terdiam sebelum menanggapi pesan dari beliau

I've had to deal with annoying bosses so many times in my career. I try not to take him personally. I try to think of him like a fart. But his constant presence is still disruptive.

Thank you, God, for giving me a job so that I can support myself and feed my cats. But most importantly, please keep me away from crazy and brainless boss.

Aamiin. 🌟🌟🌟

good bye grandma

05 March 2024

This morning, my grandma passed away.

I don't know how to react, considering this is something I've wished for. I mean, look at my post a few weeks ago when I talked about the core of the problem in my family. And now that "problem" is gone, gone forever.

This morning, my grandma passed away.

I read the message in the WhatsApp group that my mom sent. The message announced the news of her passing and was quite long, complete with the time of death and funeral arrangements. After that, I immediately called my mom. I knew she must be busy handling everything.

My mom answered the phone and thanked me for calling. I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "Innalillahi wa Innailahi Rojiun." Then she said, "Pray for your grandmother so that her grave will be spacious and her sins will be forgiven. You don't have to come, you'll be home for Eid anyway." After that, I hung up the phone and fell silent.

This morning, my grandma passed away.

This is the first death in my family. So maybe I have lack of experience in all sorts of things. What should I do, how should I react, and I don't even feel heartbroken. Not yet. Maybe because I'm far away and didn't see the situation at home directly. As the eldest child, I have to be prepared, because someday this will happen and I will be the one who is relied on.

This morning, my grandma passed away.

My grandma lived in this world for eighty-three years. She experienced the aftermath of Indonesian independence, the riots of 1998, and other historical events in this country. My grandma experienced the leadership of all seven presidents who have served in this country. She had the bitterness and sweetness of life and now she leaves the world peacefully.

This morning, my grandma passed away peacefully. She leaves us who loved her dearly. We have all accepted her passing with ikhlas. May her soul journey peacefully to meet God and may all her affairs be made easy. Aamiin.

I’m confused. I’m not sad, but my eyes hurt so bad.